Quotes of Today!

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its
burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living




Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some just don't have film.
.



Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.


A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes
cancer in rats.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter
since nobody listens.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.



I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.